Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. ~ Rumi
My mother and I are in her bedroom. I have the rare opportunity to administer healing energy to her, an act that will draw us together—physically, emotionally, spiritually. We are awkward about touching one another; emotionally, we don’t discuss matters close to the heart. The idea of God and a Higher Presence is strictly private.
This is the nature of our relationship, dictated by her upbringing.
Overwhelmed at the prospect of laying hands on her, I ask her to lie down on the bed. I recall when I needed her support and love—when I first got my period, the aftermath of boyfriend breakups, amid broken bones and excruciating pain—and she conveyed little.
Her convictions, tainted by my bouts of rebellion, are as big as a mountain.
I enrolled in learning Reiki with infamous Libby Barnett when writer’s block saturated every molecule of my body. Explaining the premise of the healing art to my conventionally-minded parents was like conveying Einstein’s theory of relativity in Swahili.
I read their expressions like an open book.
They figured, like my memoir writing, practicing Reiki was an escape from reality—another endeavor to keep me from returning to the workforce. But to counter their belief, I didn’t offer to demonstrate the various Reiki positions on them—I felt defenseless against their skepticism; this most recent act to sabotage their “please-just-do-the-right-thing” campaign.
On top of it, my dad mispronounced Reiki. No pun intended, he called it “wreck-ee.”
The whole notion of “healing energy,” however, must have taken up residence in my mother’s mind. For a week later, as we were getting out of the car, she asked me to do Reiki on her.
I panicked. Slithered down the driver’s seat like Bugs Bunny doomed in fighter aircraft; blurted some excuses. “I can’t do Reiki on you, Mom. I don’t have my massage table.”
“That’s okay, I’ll lay on my bed.”
“But I don’t have my Reiki playlist.”
“We’ll do it without it.”
“But, I don’t have my sage candle.”
“I don’t need a sage candle.”
“But, Mom, I don’t—”
“Let’s try it anyway.”